An Infusion of Love
Loss-filled, lonesome, languishing, lousy, lengthy – those are some of the adjectives that come to mind when I look back on the last two years.
(I fully acknowledge that where I reside suffered far less than other locales, and that I cannot begin to fathom or compare the complete loss so many endured).
I remember sobbing when I heard the original lockdowns were being continued until after Easter of 2020… not able to comprehend how much longer we had in store. But finally, after so much darkness, light is prevailing and there is a luminous luster lighting up the world. The change is palpable – the plaguing fear relinquishing its cold, deadly grip.
Writing during that time felt dense, and difficult, and a bit out of touch given few have been getting dressed for the client site as before. And so, amidst a hiatus from here – I hunkered down to hide and heal at home. It was an exceptionally isolating and unsettling time – the only way I made it through was by looking for love in all pursuits.
This meant a very intentional shift of perspective that grew in strength and infiltration into all my activities over the last two years – instead of going about my day to day with a sense of duty or necessity, (let alone doom and gloom) I began infusing all my interactions with a dose of love. Grocery shopping – “I can be the one radiating light towards others”, walking my dog – “I can smile and say hi to everyone”, dining – “I can care about my servers, and tip generously”. While there weren’t tons of activities taking place, I found that a conscious effort to ‘ready’ myself for interactions so that I projected the love I wanted others to feel made a profound difference in the energy around me, and the interactions I got to have.
But this didn’t just extend to my interactions with others, I also started infusing love into all my decision making, what I ate / how I cooked, how I dressed, the music I listened to, the books I read, the shows I watched, how I exercised, how I talked to myself and motivated my efforts. In addition to seeking that which brought joy, and was easy to love, I also intentionally cut out everything that detracted from my wellbeing – this meant social media boundaries, work reductions and intentional acceptance or declination of engagements based on the emotions they elicited, complete wellness transformations, and transitions of friendships.
Removing that which detracted joy, while infusing love in everything else enabled beautiful transformations. A sense of ease and peace, a strong trust in that which I pursued, and my favorite (and most unexpected) transformation of all – the development of my voice.
I began taking voice lessons in summer of 2020 as a means of finding joy amidst so much fear (and as a way to improve breath control for public speaking)… and over the last two years I’ve gone from being a complete beginner with no range or vocal skill to preparing for professional auditions with a wide range and musical genre ability – most recently being accepted to the AMDA (American Musical and Dramatic Academy) collegiate Musical Theatre program in NYC, with numerous other accolades and performing opportunities along the way. I can only credit that success to the strength of my voice teacher – Debra Cook, the Utah Conservatory, and vocal coach – Christopher Stephens, and the desire to infuse love and joy into my life.
Intentionally choosing love and crystalizing it into all you do makes it very clear what is, and is not for you. We spend so much of our lives going about our existence based on what we think we should do, or what we need to do, with no consideration for what we want to do, for what we’d love to do, for what brings us joy. When you begin to ask yourself how you actively feel about what you’re about to do, what you’re about to say, who you’re about to spend time with (regardless of venue – work/personal life), it becomes very clear where you want to spend more time, where you want to spend less time, and where you want to spend no time. And while transitions aren’t always possible right away – garnering an awareness of how you actively resonate with everything around you makes it far easier to begin acting in accordance with where you want to go, and what you want to pursue.
The last two years have changed so much – office work is no longer the norm, people are expecting better for themselves, our long-standing conditioning is being challenged – so, if you’re looking for the final transformation as we come out of this trying time, consider an infusion of love.
As with the lightening of restrictions around the world, my traditionally corporate and colorless wardrobe has also eased. After over a decade of black, grey, white, navy and a few other more muted compilations, I’m craving color…. If you follow my insta stories you’ve seen that I’ve literally worn some form and shade of hot pink almost every day the last month. For this lighter look I paired a cashmere sweater with some skinny jeans and sneakers – and leaned into color across the board (I joke that I’ve been dressing like a human highlighter lately – another form of bringing love to those around me!). I’d wear this for a casual day at the co-working space where I now office and would be completely comfortable on video-conference calls if needed (despite my aversion to them!).
After so much darkness, and in the spirit of the month we’re in – let in the light and share your love. You never know how your radiance will illuminate those around you and initiate their own infusion of love in all they do.
As always – all my best,